arrogance
Source: Vitality, 1998, 3(3)
"Excuse us," she nods graciously as she shuffles her daughter forward. "Move along, dear," she whispers roughly, "don't waste your time talking to him. He's NQOC. Not Quite Our Class, darling"... "This is something," he snatches his abacus, "that you will not understand. Don't waste your time or mine"... "Check out the wannabe," she nudges her friend. "Does she actually think she can eat lunch with us?"
They stride among us. Their eyes wary, their armor buckled, their words pre-sharpened. They hold themselves superior. They are haughty, imperious, disdainful. There is one notion they hold dear: They are better than you. "Arrogance," Webster tells us, is "that species of pride which extols the worth or importance of one's self to an undue degree." This is not healthy self esteem. This is not brimming confidence. This is a "proud contempt of others."
People build their arrogance from different foundations. Some start with money, others with intellect, education, lineage, job status, good looks, athleticism. Some allow their arrogance to sprout from even the most obscure hobbies or traits. Arrogance can be based on real qualities or possessions: a genius IQ, a staggering bank account. It can just as easily be based on illusion: a 'brilliant' strategist who gleans every last idea from others, a 'millionaire' who owns nothing more than a generous line of credit. It can be rooted in the past: an out-of-shape, fast-food addict with a glorious, football youth.
Whatever the source, this assumed superiority in one area bleeds into assumptions about the self as a whole. "I am a better bowler" becomes "I am better than you." The arrogant person can collect a fair share of admirers and enemies. There is usually, however, an ambiguity surrounding arrogant behaviour. Is this a good person at the core? Just how impressive are her skills? Does this person truly feel superior or is he just acting arrogantly for some other reason?
Arrogant behaviour strikes us immediately. There is the condescending dismissal, the impatience, the interruptions, the measured humiliations, the whispered asides, the outright neglect. Many people bristle at arrogance, quickly asserting themselves or rejecting the speaker. Others must suffer quietly as the arrogant person is in a position of power. Some take a person's arrogance as a signal of importance. "She must be somebody to act like that." Fans can be willing to excuse the arrogance of someone whose achievements or skills they admire. "When you play the horn like he does, you're allowed to be a jerk."
Why be arrogant? Do arrogant people want to humiliate or embarrass 'the people below?' There are a few people who have become mean spirited, who enjoy cruelty. For most, however, their arrogance is less about the recipient and more about themselves.
Some people behave arrogantly to escape their insecurity. They are seeking status, something to define them as more than ordinary. I can only have status, they believe, if I am the person above and there is someone below. The more threatened people feel, the more compelled they are to redefine themselves as 'better.' Much research has shown that when people feel they have failed or that their self-worth is in question, they will judge others even more harshly.
It is possible to be arrogant on your terms alone. "I am the only cheese master, shot-putting Hamil-tonian quaternian expert in my class." Most, however, employ their arrogance to align themselves with a group: the popular, the brilliant, the wealthy, the artistic. In their research, psychologists Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary find that people feel a pressing, urgent need to belong. They are driven to attach themselves to groups. People who do not feel they belong to a group have much more mental and physical illness, more behavioural problems, traffic accidents, criminal records and suicide attempts. A certain arrogance helps some people feel that they have arrived, that they are privileged members of an exclusive group. People can use this arrogance to say: "I belong here. I am worthwhile because I am a valued member of a group that is closed to you."
Arrogance that is built on group membership grows stronger over time. People fall prey to a self-serving bias. They see their group in the best possible light. "People at my level know what is important. The people below haven't got a clue." In-group loyalty intensifies. Soon there are 'people like us' and 'people like them.' The people outside are depersonalized and easier to stereotype. The arrogant person can now, even subconsciously, pay attention only to that behaviour which confirms why 'those others' are inferior.
"Na nana poo poo, I'm better than you." Children who have been raised around arrogance will tend to take on those attitudes themselves. Fishbein, another psychologist, finds that negative attitudes about outside groups can be stimulated around the age of three. Children pick up on why they should feel superior to certain other people.
Some people become arrogant because they are afraid of losing their power. They are in good standing right now and they don't want to come down. Arrogance gives them a certain distance. These powerful people can find that arrogant behaviour gives them an air of invulnerability, renders them slightly untouchable. "Others may be less likely to challenge me if what I have seems out of reach." It is easier for powerful people to cast an arrogant eye on others. They do, after all, have some tangible 'evidence' of their positions. Psychologists Steven Spencer and Susan Fiske find that people in positions of power tend to stereotype more. This is because they often don't consider personal, distinguishing details about others and they need to defend their decisions.
There are those who will hold fast onto their arrogance into their weaker, last days. Others face life-altering or humbling experiences that reshape their attitudes and priorities. In the meantime, what to do when we are faced with arrogance?